Art

So...here is my attempt at claiming to have any artistic sense. Hahaha. Seriously though, I was "surfing the net" (to use an old phrase) and came across this picture called "forsaken" at Caedes Desktop Backgrounds and automatically downloaded it and set it as my background for my computer. I know, I know, I was using my time real wisely.

Looking at this picture a flood of emotions came: grief, loneliness, solitude, humility, peace, being recharged, and joy along with others that I am having a hard time expressing. My first thought towards this picture is of darkness, depression, and sadness (which I can definitely identify with). However the more I thought and pondered it the more I started realizing that those emotions were being taken over by the emotions of joy, peace, freedom, and a true sense of life.

So here is my analysis of this picture after a couple of days. Here is a guy who yes, is naked. He is stripped of any identity markers he can have (hair, clothes, scars, and any other objects). This guy has got nothing and everything around him is unforgiving and evil. This even includes the floor that he is sitting on which looks like its had its share of beatings. So you have a guy with nothing in this kind of depressing environment, but the funny thing is that as I look at this guy all I can see from him is peace, rest, comfort, and joy. Kinda weird I know. I can just envision a smile on this guys face (which we cannot see) and a video of him staying in this position for a while and then getting up, walking away from the circle of light and as he walks through the darkness light is radiating off of him (the light that he soaked up while sitting in the circle of light).

So obviously the parallels to the Christian life are there. The darkness is the world, the circle of light is God, the glow is the life of good works and proclamation of Jesus, and going into the darkness is what we should all be doing.

Now, I realize that this analogy and vision of my head breaks down majorly. I know that we don't have specific time with God and then leave him, and I know that the world around us is not complete darkness and that God's light is in many areas. However, this picture has encouraged me, challenged me, and given me a lot of joy, peace and hope.

Pacifism

For the past four years I have struggled with the issue of pacifism. As I have read the pages of the of the Old and New Testament this issue has constantly arose in my mind. As I have read of the full manifestation of God in Jesus and seen through the eyes of scripture how our King lived and of how many like him entrusted themselves to the Father for their justice I have been humbled and amazed. One of the major themes of scripture is the vindication of God for His people. (Ps.97:10,Rev.6:9-11) Combine this with the specific passage in John 18:36, where Jesus expresses that His servants could have but didn't fight (despite Peter's best efforts), and I have had the perspective that all violence is ungodly and that the only godly thing would be to trust in the vindication that God said he would bring. However, I have always been intrigued and never been able to answer certain passages in scripture where God has confirmed and commanded his people to violent action. What is intriguing is the contrast in passages such as Nehemiah 13:25 and Genesis 34 (cf. Gen 49:5-7) where severe action is taken place and people are beat up / killed. The distinction, however, between these passages is what helps us to understand the whole of this issue.

As I stated earlier, I have been convinced for a good while that the statement, "all violence is ungodly" would be correct. However, this would be completely illogical since the thing I would be trusting in for my vindication would be God, and that would be to say that God would be wrong in violence (if it was the case that all violence is ungodly). So I feel like we have come full circle to say that the issue is not necessarily violence, but motivation.

If I was struck by someone and struck in return that would be me entrusting myself for vindication and judgment of that person. We are commanded to love our neighbor as ourselves. What would be the loving thing to do for your neighbor, sit and watch while someone terrorizes them and say (God will vindicate them), or step in and protect and sacrifice yourself for your neighbor?

We cannot sit at the feet of Jesus, read the word the Spirit has given us and say that all violence is wrong. The issue in both the Old and the New Testament is dependence. When it comes to our ego and our self reliance scripture is clear all around that these are ungodly. However, when we can lower ourselves, trust God, and love people we can say that we are God-glorifying. So...when I can come to the point of dying to my flesh, trusting in God, and loving people, then I can say that violence is godly.

Balancing life in time

A struggle for me for a long time (and probably will continue to be) has been balancing personal life, family life, friends life, and ministry life. When you are working within a relational ministry model (which I would contend my life for) lines between these areas of life get blurred and it is hard to find balance sometimes. I spoke with Doug Thompson, a pastor in California about a week ago and this is one of the main things we spoke about. He talked about how you cannot put one part of life at a higher priority than another since God has called us to be faithful in all areas of life. He described life as a tire and each area of life having an area of the tire. If one area of the tire is deflated or over-inflated the whole tire will be affected negatively and problems will arise. His point of being 100% faithful in each area has encouraged and helped me greatly. So this means, when I am at work, I am 100% at work and give everything to that area, same with personal time, family time, etc. This is helpful and a good perspective to have in those areas, but what about when ministry occurs during personal time or family time? (welcome to relational ministry) What happens when an emergency arises and you are 100% in family time? This is where perspective and help from others is greatly beneficial. This is where you need to look at the tire and see if you have a complete circle with everything balanced or not. May we be 100% faithful in each of the many areas of life.

Competitivenesss Continued

As is typical my Beautiful Bride to be comes in and teaches me what life looks like practically rather than philosophically. I am almost convinced on a philosophical level that the source of competitiveness is in direct conflict with the heart/mind of God. However...this does not negate the fact that there is nothing wrong with playing the cards/dominoes/whatever your dealt to the best of your ability while seeking a time of sweet fellowship with the people you are with. What this looks like for me practically speaking...I have no idea. All I know is that I want to love, care, and pursue people more than winning a game and that if you can do both at the same time (play the game well while being intentional with people) well then, you will probably beat me. :)

Competitiveness

Last night Becca and I played "42" (a dominoes game) with my parents for a while. We got beat both times by a pretty significant amount. During the game Becca had been talking with my mom about life and they were having good conversation, however I was getting legitimately frustrated. I said jokingly in the middle of one of the games, "This is not a time of fellowship," unfortunately I was about 1/4 joking and 3/4 serious. How sad is that, that I viewed Becca and I's time there as a time to get focused on winning a game?

So this is a huge reminder for me of my struggle with competitiveness. I tend to either play and not care whether I win or loose or focus on playing and get frustrated if I don't do well/win. I understand sportsmanship and having a good attitude no matter what happens in the game and am totally down with that, but that is not where my question or thought lies. My question is, how can the pure heart of competitiveness be aligned with Christ's perspective. A definition of competitiveness is, "having or displaying a strong desire to be more successful than others." This at first glance is in direct conflict with Jesus' teaching and life in saying that we must die to ourselves, count others as more significant than ourselves, love your neighbor as yourself, the first shall be last, etc.

So let me chew on this for a while, here is the thought, let me know what you think, and maybe we can find the balance and reconcile these two ways of thinking, or maybe not...